WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
