Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
