my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
