i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
