Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
