remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
