I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
