You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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