She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
