I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize