maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
