Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
