The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
