I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
