Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize