You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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