it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
