You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
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