I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
