Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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