Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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