and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
