it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
