Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
