I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
