Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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