The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
