omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
