In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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