My hand turned me down
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
