bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
