Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
