We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
