I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
