she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
