just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
