I hate all girls vehemently.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
How's work?
Spinning.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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