We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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