I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
