I want to stick my p in your. b.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
