hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize