I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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