so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
