Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
