dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
