He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
