Fine. I'll sleep in my office
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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