$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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