And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Why is there bacon in the couch?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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