I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize