also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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