I hate all girls vehemently.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
