there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
