Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
All I want is dick and wine.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
