Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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