Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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