we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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