she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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