We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
