We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
