sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
