hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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