About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
