She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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