i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
