so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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