Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize